A list of things that might be classified 'computer humour' that I find amusing (including my own creations). I'm not making a table of contents at this time because I am lazy (and there are only two items at this time).
This is my own creation - it is a stab at Microsoft Windows and the security (or lack)
thereof. I was inspired by the fact that a security vulnerability is often
called a 'hole', and the fact that Microsoft Windows has so many holes, it is somewhat
like Swiss Cheese. I took a couple of pictures of Swiss Cheese and a picture of the
Microsoft Windows logo (a plain version thereof). Then, through transparency/overlaying
(I can't recall exactly what it is called and I'm too lazy to check) I merged the two layers
together. I then found the Swiss Cheese Paradox and reworded it to be the Microsoft Windows
Paradox. Lastly, I added the 'Compare to the active ingredient of Swiss Cheese' for flavour.
This is one of my favourite creations of mine; certainly I'm quite proud of it (and I find
it difficult to feel pride).
Creators Admit C, Unix Were Hoax
The following text was written by Ken Thompson of AT&T Bell Labs - who worked with
Dennis Ritchie and Brian Kernighan. It was a contribution to the Unix Hater's Handbook. This
might be ironic to some because all three of them are really important figures to the
Internet and more generally Unix and the C Programming Language (even though those I've thanked
on it, have dismissed it as the others deserved the credit). This is the epilogue of the above
mentioned book but it is amusing to say the least (at least I feel it is). Dennis Ritchie wrote
the Anti-Preface which I might include at some point (even though it is more serious than what
is in the link below). Link to text file (because of C formatting) opens in a new window/tab:
Creators Admit C, Unix Were Hoax
Shell humour (New: 03 March 2020)
There are old documents out there that have fun with different Unix commands; for example there's one about `make' that plays with the idea of not knowing how to make love and various other things. Some of my own can be found here.
Talking Frog > Princess For Computer Programmers (New: 17 January 2021)
As a computer programmer I will argue that I do have time for a girlfriend and am always happiest when I do have one but this is still a funny albeit old and classic joke:
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, 'If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.'
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero.'
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.'
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.'
Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, 'What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?'
The man said, 'Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.'